


Look At the Fun, Perfect Life

by Super_Theater_Nerd



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: At the beginning Connor is 15, Elliot and Micah are Cynthia's younger siblings, Elliot is 20, Family Issues, Gen, Like really younger, Micah is 18, Murphy Family Stuff, Thanksgiving Dinner, Zoe is 14
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-16 18:41:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16959438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Super_Theater_Nerd/pseuds/Super_Theater_Nerd
Summary: The Murphys were complicated. Truth be told, they hated each other. It was hard to open up. They didn't want to. But sometimes someone would pry them open.Yeah, OCs suck. But they're not for romantic purposes so if you hate invented love interests then this is the story for you.I know it's a bad summary. Basically it starts with a Thanksgiving dinner and things go from there. There will be talking about feelings.





	Look At the Fun, Perfect Life

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully this doesn't suck. Just saying for the timeline, I'm writing this as if the plot of DEH happened during the 2018-2019 school year. This first chapter takes place in 2016. That makes Connor 15, Zoe 14, and Elliot and Micah 20 and 18.

Cynthia had been an only child for the first twenty-four years of her life. She had always wanted a sister or brother, but once she hit high school she had accepted the fact that her parents wouldn’t have another child. In a way she didn’t really care. Her best friend was a triplet with two brothers and she didn’t envy her one bit. 

Then one day during the fall of ‘96, she got a strange phone call from her mother. She was sitting in her bed, grading papers for her third grade class. It was her first year of teaching ever and the year had been stressful to say the least. Her class of twenty-seven were sweet for the most part, but there were a few nightmares. 

Her phone started to ring and she answered immediately. Anything to distract her from her work. 

“Hello.”

“Cynthia?”

“Yes,” She said, “Who is it.”

“Mom.”

“Hi, why are you calling.”

“Uhh, no reason. Just checking in.” Her mom paused, trying to figure out what to say next. “It’s been almost ten months since I’ve seen you.”

“Thanks for giving me shit for that, I’m coming to see you for Christmas. It’s not exactly easy to get from Dallas to Hartford.”

“I know, I just miss you.” She said, “How’s school been? You started at a new school this year, right?”

“Yeah, it’s been fine. Stressful. You know.” Cynthia could sense that something wasn’t right. She could feel her mom waiting for the chance to break some big news. “Is there a reason why you’re calling me?”

“What? No!”

“Mom, what is it? Just tell me what it is. I have papers to grade.”

“Cynthia….” She said, “I’m pregnant.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No.”

“Really?”

“Yes, and-.”

“There’s an and?”

“Yes, my due date is a week away.”

“Why the hell haven’t you told any of this to me?”

“I don’t know. You never called.”

“Well, I’d think that you’d call me about something important like this.” Cynthia couldn’t believe that she was going to be an older sister. “Is it a girl or a boy.” No answer, “Mom? Mom? Hello.”

“You’ll just have to wait and see.”

“Are you serious? I don’t even know if I’m going to have a younger sister or brother?” 

“Well, now you have some incentive to visit.”

“I was coming anyway, you really don’t need to-.”

“Bye Honey.” 

“Don’t hang up-.”

“See you in December.” 

The other line went dead. Cynthia sighed. It was going to be a long two months.  
__________

In three years Cynthia went from having no siblings to having two. Elliot was born first. She was born mid-October in 1996 and was the cutest baby in her opinion. She knew that if she lived in the same house while Elliot grew up she would have liked her less. Her mother told her that she cried a lot as a baby and was loud in general. 

Two years later she got married and gained another sibling. This time a boy. His name was Micah and he was the exact opposite of his sister. He was a quiet baby that turned into an awkward kid. He wasn’t athletic and Cynthia would call him a loser. Correction, she did call him a loser to his face multiple times. Sure, she was old enough to be his mother, but she wasn’t his mother. She was his sister. 

Elliot and Micah had a typical sibling relationship. They drove each other crazy and ruined each other’s lives, but ultimately loved each other. Cynthia’s relationship was a lot less complicated. She was like a cool big sister-aunt hybrid. They both loved her and talked with her about anything. In turn she did too.

It was however strange that her own children were only three and four years younger than her brother.  
__________

“Connor,” Cynthia knocked softly on her son’s door, “Honey, are you awake.”

When there was no response she gently opened the door. It was pitch black in there. Only a little bit of light was coming through the closed curtains. He was asleep and snoring softly. Part of her didn’t want to wake him, but it was almost eleven. 

First, she opened the curtains and let the bright sunlight into the dark room. Connor stirred a little.  
She shook him gently and he groaned.

“Sorry, kid, it’s almost twelve. Elliot and Micah are going to be getting here any minute.” She ran her hand through his hair. Well, she tried to. It was tangled and greasy. He needed to take a shower before he did anything else that day.

“Go away.”

“Not happening.”

Connor sat up slowly as he rubbed his eyes. He wasn’t smiling. He nearly never smiled anymore. There wasn’t a light in his eyes anymore. 

“I don’t understand why we have to have people over for Thanksgiving. It’s a stupid holiday that celebrates asshole Europeans killing natives.” He wasn’t wrong, but Cynthia had no idea how to respond.

“Connor,” she sighed, “It’s a compromise we’ve talked about. We’re not going to my parents house. But my brother and sister are.”

Last Thanksgiving the four of them had gone to Connecticut. Some years her parents would fly down to Dallas, but that year they were making the trek. Connor hadn’t complained, he was getting out of a week of school. Afterwards, though, he wish he had complained. The week was an absolute shit show.

Turns out he was just as big of a disappointment to the rest of his family. His Grandma and Grandpa were even more judgemental than his father and that was saying something. They talked about him like he wasn’t sitting right in front of them. By request of his mom, he didn’t react. He bottled up his feelings and tried not to freak out.

And it worked pretty well until they all sat down together to eat. Connor had painted his nails the night before and his Grandma had wasted no time mentioning it. He shrugged, it didn’t really matter, did it? Turns out it did.

Things escalated and one thing lead to another and before anyone knew it, he was losing it. There was shouting. There were insults hurled at one another. Needless to say, they weren’t invited back next year.

Larry and Cynthia had debated inviting her parents to Texas. Connor overheard them and convinced them to not. The only catch was that his Aunt and Uncle would come over.

He was content with that. He didn’t hate them, he actually liked them. But, they were more like cousins to him than uncle and aunt. He never talked about personal stuff with Elliot and Micah, why would he do that? However, they were nice. They were understanding. And they didn’t ridicule his every move. 

“Fine.” Connor threw his pillow across his room in frustration.

“That’s the spirit.” She stood up and made her way to the door, “Be downstairs in a half hour. And take a shower. You’re hair would catch on fire near an open flame it’s so greasy.”

“Thanks a lot.”

“And find your glasses. I don’t want you to be running into things today.”

Connor hated his glasses. They were uncomfortable and gave him a constant throbbing headache. And he thought he looked stupid when he wore them. But, his vision was pretty bad. He couldn’t deny that. He had 20/400 vision which meant that he could see basically see nothing without his glasses. All he saw was fuzzy blobs and light. A minute ago when he woke up he couldn’t see who was in front of him. He only knew it was his mom because of her voice.  
Connor had first gotten glasses in fourth grade. To put it simply he was doing shit in class and running into anything and everything. He was consistently getting twenty and thirty percents on math quizzes and spelling tests. And not copying down anything remotely correct from the board. If he had been getting sixties or seventies his teacher would have just passed it off as him being unmotivated. But it looked like Connor was trying. His teacher, Ms. Hoover had contacted his parents and set up a date and time to meet. 

Because it was about Connor he was invited to join them. It took place before school one morning. The conversation involved a lot of debate over why Connor was failing while he said nothing. He knew why he was failing. He just wouldn’t admit it. He was embarrassed. Not because he was embarrassed to get glasses, plenty of his classmates had them. He was embarrassed that his vision was so bad. 

His classmates who had glasses described what they saw as slightly fuzzy. Or pretty normal except not being able to see words. He saw almost nothing. Just colors and blobs and light. At one point he decided that squinting and trying to make out anything was pointless. Connor just nodded and went along with what they said. 

The bell rang and saved him. He almost got out scott-free, but while walking towards the door he walked straight into a wall and fell down. Naturally, Cynthia freaked out. Larry starred and had no idea how to react. And Ms. Hoover said, “You know what. Scratch everything we said earlier. You should probably take him to the eye doctor some time. And by some time I mean today.”

Connor guessed that there was a silver-lining to getting glasses. His dad had to go to work, however his mom had no job. So she pulled him out of school for the day and took him to the eye doctor. It was a very awkward eye exam. He didn’t know how to tell them that he couldn’t see anything period. They’d point at the top, biggest letter on the chart and he couldn’t answer because he didn’t know. He felt so stupid. 

After two hours of waiting and getting his eyes checked and his eyes dilated he got the news. He had 20/400 vision. At twenty feet he could see the same thing as a normal person could see at four hundred feet. There was no way around it, he needed glasses. Cynthia and he spent the next half hour looking at all the different kinds of glasses. Connor had asked about contacts, but his mom said no. He wasn’t responsible enough and they could talk about it when he was older, she said. Spoiler alert, he never became responsible enough. 

Regardless of how much he hated them, he needed them. It was Thanksgiving, the least he could do for his mom was putting on his glasses and taking a shower. He plucked his glasses off of his messy bedroom floor and put them on. Suddenly the world wasn’t an abstract painting. 

Shower time. His mom was nearly never right about things, but she was for once. He was overdue for a shower. It had been a week, maybe two. He felt disgusting. 

The shower was quick and way too cold for November. Cynthia had read somewhere that cold showers were good for you or some shit like that and messed with the water heater. It was part of the reason he didn’t shower often. Yes, he was too lazy to do it regularly, but he also didn’t want to freeze.

He dried off in the bathroom and changed into a pair of black jeans and a hoodie from a summer camp he went to a few years ago. Another benefit of not going anywhere for Thanksgiving was that he didn’t have to dress nicely. Connor knew that he would get some looks from his parents for wearing this, but he didn’t care. They wouldn’t make him change. It wasn’t worth it. 

Thirty minutes had past ten minutes ago. Connor should have went downstairs to be with his family, but he didn’t. Why? Because he didn’t want to.

He flopped down on his bed. He really needed to clean his room. Clothes were everywhere. Books were haphazardly places on his desk and bookshelf. And he had three empty water glasses on his desk. 

Downstairs he could hear Zoe laughing and talking with his parents. They were perfectly happy without him. Every time he brought up the fact that he basically ruined their lives and that they would secretly love it if he killed himself they denied it. They lied obviously. If what he was hearing had anything to say about it. 

He lacked vision but had impeccable hearing.

“Mom! You need to take the turkey heart and balls out of it before you cook it.” Zoe snorted. When she laughed she snorted. It was annoying as hell.

“Cynthia!”

“Like you could do better.” 

“Yeah. I could.”

“Shut Up.”

They sounded so happy. 

Bang, bang, bang.

The house had a doorbell. Still, whoever was outside decided to knock. There were only so many people it could have been. 

“Cynthia! It’s fucking cold out here!” 

Elliot and Micah had arrived.

There was some shuffling and footsteps downstairs. More talking that he couldn’t understand. 

“I don’t know where Connor is,” At least that’s what he thought his mom said. What she said next he heard crystal clear, “Connor! Can you come down here? El and Micah are here.”

“Coming?”

When he walked downstairs all five of them were staring at him. If he didn’t already want to curl up into a ball and disappear he certainly did now. They were all smiling at him and that was just a fucking miracle. His dad and sister hadn’t smiled at him in a blue moon. It was kind of creepy.

“Hi, Connor.” Elliot gave an awkward wave.

“Hi,” Micah made it ten times more awkward.

“Hi.” He looked down at his feet.

No one said anything for a solid minute. They all stared at each other. Waiting to see who would be the first to speak. Like always it was Cynthia.

“Well,” She turned to her siblings, “Where are you two staying?”

“About that,” Elliot said, “What would you do if I said that I was going to invade your home for the next three nights?”

“It’s fine. I expected it. I said that, right Larry?”

“Yes.”

“Great. I would have stayed anyway. I’ll go get out stuff.” She ducked out the front door.

Micah stood there awkwardly. He was tall and gangly. Cynthia thought that he looked a surprising amount like Connor. They had the same hair and eyes and were both looking at the ground, wanting to disappear. They had been mistaken as siblings more than once. And in recent years mistaken as twins. Neither of them saw it.

The silence was going to kill him. 

“Micah,” Can you guess who broke the silence? If you guessed Cynthia, you’d be right. “You can stay with Connor. And El can go with Zo if that’s okay?”

“Sure.”

Zoe loved Elliot. She was the older sibling that she wished she ended up with. Too bad she got stuck with him.  
\----------  
An hour and a half later the six of them were sitting around the Murphy’s dining room table. Zoe, Cynthia, and Elliot had spent that time in the kitchen cooking and eating. Zoe and Elliot had both been sneaking spoonfuls of whatever was being made much to Cynthia’s dismay. Still, they had fun and laughed a lot.

It was a different story for the males of the family. Micah, Connor, and Larry sat in the living room silently. Larry tried to start a conversation but the teens were not in the market for a conversation. You could have heard a pin drop when they were called to eat. 

Cynthia smile was disgustingly sweet, “Let’s go around and say what we’re thankful for.”

“Goddamnit!” All eyes shifted to Elliot, “What?”

Zoe nudged her, “Just go with it. It makes her happy.”

“Fine….”

“Great,” She waited for someone to start and no one did. Big surprise. “I’ll go first. I’m thankful for-.”

“Wait, Mom said you used to hate doing this.”

Cynthia glared at her younger sister, “As I was saying. I’m thankful for my wonderful family-.”

“Goddamnit! You stole mine.”

Connor liked Elliot, he really did. She was nice and interesting but one thing about her really bothered him. She did things around his parents that he would get his books taken away for. But she got a fee pass because he was his mom’s sister. 

“I love all of you. And I always will no matter what happens.”

“You hear that, Connor?’

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Zoe.” Larry glared at his children, “Connor.”

“Sorry.”

Cynthia was regretting this already. She should have just let them eat. Things were going well. Connor didn’t look completely miserable. But if things continued like they were, this Thanksgiving might end worst than last years. 

“Your turn, Zo.”

“Fine,” She sighed and thought for a second, “Music, I guess.”

“I am thankful for my wife,” Larry.

Connor was tempted to call bullshit. His parents hated each other. They argued constantly and it was always about him. Come to think of it, his parents didn’t hate each other. They hated him.

“Fuck, it’s my turn. Shit. I mean shit. I mean sorry.” Elliot swore more than Connor and that was saying something, “I’m glad I have a job. Being productive and supporting myself is pretty cool. Kids suck, but they’re parents are loaded so they pay me a lot.”

She worked as a director at a children’s after school theater company. She wasn’t a professional babysitter. A surprising amount of people assumed she was one when she described her job.

“Connor,” His mom said, “You’re turn.”

“Oh, umm….” Was he thankful for anything? Life was pretty shitty. “Books.”

“Nerd.”

“Fuck you!”

“Fuck you!”

“Zoe.”

“What? Why don’t you say anything about what Connor’s doing? He’s doing exactly what I’m doing.” She had a point. 

“Zoe, not now. Let’s not fight right now. Let’s just calm down, “Cynthia turned to her siblings, “Sorry you have to see us like this.”

“It’s fine,” Elliot sipped a glass of sparkling apple cider, “I’m not judging anyone. Family stuff, I get it.”

“Yeah…” Micah nodded softly. 

Awkward silences was a reoccuring theme that afternoon. Elliot downed the last of her drink and poured herself more. This was the good sparkling cider. The kind that came in the fancy glass bottle and tasted like happiness. It was her favorite, but it was expensive. And as a college student, money was always an obstacle. While she was there, she was going to drink as much as she could. 

“So…” She took a long, dramatic sip, “Can we start eating or are we going to keep staring at each other like the dysfunctional family we are.”

They started eating still in silence. Connor didn’t want to speak because he feared he would say something and start a fight. Contrary to popular belief, he didn’t try to cause chaos. Sometimes it happened, but it wasn’t intentional. He hated the constant arguing and insults and the last thing he wanted was a repeat of last year. 

The silence was horrible. Connor just wished that Cynthia would start talking. She loved talking about herself. It was boring but at least it wouldn’t be quiet. 

“So, Micah,” This was why Elliot was his favorite, “How’s your love life?”

“Shut the hell up.” He mumbled as he continued to chew. 

“Damn.” It slipped out, okay? Connor wasn’t a bad person. 

“Awww… Did someone get rejected?” She teased. 

“No.”

“So you’re dating someone?”

“Yes. No shut the fuck up.”

“Is it someone I know?”

“Yes, now stop talking.”

“Who is it?”

“You know who it is. Now stop talking. I mean it.” Micah wasn’t joking. Anyone could have seen that. His sister took the hint. 

“Sorry,” She drank more sparkling cider, “You know that you’re going to have to tell them. She’s your sister for god’s sake. Mom and dad won’t keep it from them for much longer.”

“I will, just leave me alone. Okay?”

“Before we leave?”

“Sure.”

The rest of the meal was silent. Connor couldn’t decide if last year or this year was worst. On one hand, last year resulted in a screaming match and more than one things being broken. On the other hand, this year was just awkward. And that was just as bad in his useless opinion.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked this. I'm going to have a really bad update schedule and I'm sorry. Leave a comment if you so please.


End file.
